


Inequity

by Mishdar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Gen, Pining Castiel, Season/Series 13 Spoilers, Spn coda 13x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 22:59:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13937253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mishdar/pseuds/Mishdar
Summary: Dean doesn't know but Cas is also scared of flying.





	Inequity

**Author's Note:**

> Cas's reasons for fighting changed depending on who he was explaining himself to; Dean or Donatelllo.
> 
> I felt the need to address that. 
> 
> Hope you like it :)

Castiel was supposed to be on a quest. Searching for an ingredient of a spell that might save the world from an apocalypse that could arrive at any second. It was like deja vu, the familiar similarity of these actions was dispiriting. 

Castiel was supposed to be in the air, on the plane that Sam had booked for him, but he wasn't.

He was at a liquor store. He'd stopped at a bar on the way to the airport to build some 'liquid courage', he'd seen Dean do it countless times. But being an angel meant the bar didn't work and it reminded him too much of the people he was trying to forget.

 

Castiel moved on to the liquor store.

It was now 3 am, he had booked himself a ticket on another flight. He knew how to do that now, he'd watched Sam do it often enough. That's how he'd made his fake credit card too. It had eased a lot of problems. Money made things easier, Castiel had learned that the hard way, but he knew now.

The plane left in a couple of hours but till then he was here. A holy unholy thieving lying errand boy numbing himself with poison because flying reminded him too much of his choices, of what he'd cost his brothers and sisters.  
He'd thought they would all enjoy free will. That they were all like him.

He had thought wrong.

Whether it was a decision based in naiveté or vanity, he couldn't recall.

The outcome remained the same.

~~~~~~~~~~

Turns out,

Choosing to live for penance instead of being forced to, it doesn't matter much in the end. The guilt remains.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

Turns out,

His God is human.

  
His God forgives but doesn't forget.

His God's love is conditional and His trust nonexistent.

His God doesn't require a lover, He requires a soldier.

And Castiel was created to follow orders.

It was the height of Castiel's hubris to think he could compete with the prodigal brother.

Castiel has always been a warrior, destined to die in war.

He promises himself this will be the last time.

Whatever it takes.

 

 

 

 


End file.
